Your Love Resumé: Should I Interview Myself Before I Date Anyone?

When we decided to implement the vision of SamEngee Family Hub, the first question was why? 

Why do you think you can? 

Why do you need a Hub?

Why do relationships matter? 

Why both of you ?

Why do you need to be an example? 

Why love?

In the end, we had to write up a SamEngee Love Resume to help us see that we are right for this. When we think about love, we often imagine romantic sparks, deep connections, and someone who just gets us. But let’s be real for a second, finding that kind of love is no easy task.

Agape love, the pure, unconditional kind, is rare enough. It’s the kind of love that accepts you, flaws and all, and keeps showing up even when things get tough. Outside of a God who is definitely bigger than ourselves, it’s not something we run into every day.

Then there’s the challenge of timing. You can meet someone amazing, but if you are not both in the right place emotionally, mentally, or even logistically? That love might not stick. Love between two people is hard enough on its own, throw in timing, and it’s like threading a needle during an earthquake.

But the hardest love of all? Loving ourselves as we are often our own biggest critics. I think of my path, my body, my looks, my fashion style, my speech, my career, my family, my friends and sometimes wish this or that was better. Learning to truly accept ourselves, to treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a lover or a friend, is a lifelong journey. It is not just spa days and affirmations—it is deep, honest work.

So yeah, love is complex. But the journey to find it—in others and in yourself—is worth it.

So, What Exactly Is a Love Résumé and why do we need one?

Imagine this:

You are standing in your living room, surrounded by 56 oddly-shaped parts, a bag of screws, two hex keys, and a box with a dreamy image of the final product. But—there’s no manual.

Frustrating, right?

That’s what relationships can feel like—trying to build something beautiful without understanding how the pieces fit together. But what if you could hand your partner a personal manual that says: Here’s how I work. Here’s how I love. Here’s how I need to be loved at this phase of life?

That’s your Love Résumé.

Your Love Résumé is your intentional, honest, and deeply personal inventory of who you are in relationships- your love self. And it is not just cute aesthetics and romantic preferences—it’s deep stuff. It’s who you are, what you value, how you communicate, what you need emotionally, and what brings you joy. Let’s create yours—because you deserve to be loved intentionally.

✨ 1. Start With Your Core Strengths

What makes you lovable? Not in a superficial way, but in a way that sticks.What are the little and big things that make me a joy to know?

• Are you a patient listener?
• Are you thoughtful with gifts?
• Are you a calm presence or a contagious laugh?
• Are you dependable, organized, adventurous?
• Do you laugh with your whole heart?
• Do you make people feel safe?
• Do you remember the small details people mention?
• Do you write the best love letters and sweet words?
  

📓 Prompt:
Write 5 qualities that make you an amazing partner. These are your emotional assets—your relationship superpowers. This is where you start getting the answer of what you bring to the table?

💖 2. Your Favorite Things & Sweet Memories

Love often lives in the little things—moments that stay with us, even years later.

• What is your favourite everything you can remember- food, colour, friend, song, family, outfit, social media page ?
• What’s your favorite kind of date- indoor, outdoor or cozy inside the bedroom?
• What smell reminds you of home?
• What memory always makes you smile?
• What’s the favourite gift you have received?
  

📓 Prompt:
List 3 things, moments, or places that feel like home to your heart.

⚠️ 3. Identify Your Emotional Triggers

Triggers aren’t weaknesses—they’re signposts. They tell us where we still need healing.

• Does being ignored bring up abandonment fears?
• Do raised voices remind you of conflict from your past?
• Does silence after a conflict make you anxious?
• Do you over-apologize when someone’s upset?
• Do compliments make you uncomfortable?
• Do you prefer to avoid a conversation?
• Does talking about your finances make you anxious? 
• Does physical touch make you uncomfortable?
  

📓 Prompt:
Note 3 emotional triggers. Then ask yourself: What do I need in those moments?

🗣️ 4. Know Your Communication Style

How do you express hurt? Love? Apologies?

Do you need space to process? Or prefer resolving things on the spot?

📓 Prompt:
Write a paragraph about how you communicate—especially during conflict—and how you want to grow.

🔄 5. Note Your Conflict Resolution Preferences

Every couple argues. But thriving couples know how to fight fair.

📓 Prompt:
Describe how you prefer to resolve disagreements. Do you need quiet time? A hug first? A reset walk?

🌿 6. Define the Character You Want to Build

You’re a work in progress—and that’s beautiful.

📓 Prompt:
What traits are you working on? Write 3 character goals. Then list 3 values you want your future family to embody.

🌈 7. Clarify Your Emotional Needs at This Stage of Life

Needs shift. In one season, it might be companionship. In another, a prayer partner. Be honest with where you are.

• Do you long for meaningful connection?
• Need a safe space to be vulnerable?
• Do you need someone to share the responsibilities of life?
• Crave adventure with a travel buddy?
  

📓 Prompt:
List the top 3 emotional needs you have right now. Not what looks good on paper—but what your soul truly needs.

🚫 8. Outline Your Non-Negotiables and Societal Deal Breakers

Let’s get real—some values you can’t compromise on. And that’s okay.

📓 Prompt:
Write down the cultural or societal beliefs that matter most to you.
Examples:

• “I believe in gender equality and partnership in marriage.”
• “I want a faith-centered home.”
• “I can’t build with someone who doesn’t respect boundaries or family.”
  

These aren’t judgments—they’re filters for your peace.

🧩 9. Celebrate What Makes You HappyLove isn’t all deep work and serious talks—it’s joy, too.

• What simple acts make you feel cherished?
  (A handwritten note? Someone remembering your coffee order?)
• What hobbies bring your soul alive?
  

📓 Prompt:
List 5 activities that fill your cup and 3 ways someone can show you they love you—no words needed.

💫 10. Dream About the Love and Life You’re Building

Let’s zoom out. What does your dream life look like? Who are you with? What do your days feel like?

📓 Prompt:
Write a vision for your love life and family life. Include the laughter, the legacy, and the little daily things that matter most.

❤️ Bonus: Imagine Sharing This With “Your Person”

You hand them your Love Résumé. They hand you theirs.
No guessing. No second-guessing. Just understanding.

This is how you build not just chemistry—but connection.

Want More?

📖 Read In Love With Me, In Love With You
Our book dives deep into discovering your love self and dating with intentionality.

🌍 Explore www.samengeefamilyhub.org
💬 Join the community, create your profile on MyHub, and access tools to help you grow
📲 Follow @samengee_family_hub for stories, prompts, and encouragement.

You are worthy of being loved exactly as you are—and even more as you grow.

Start with your Love Résumé. Build your Love Manual. Here is a sample and Engee’s love resume.
Your love story is sacred. Let’s write the most intentional chapter yet—starting with the best investment of all:  You. 

And when the time is right—share it with someone who’s ready to study it like their favorite book.